Don’t chase happiness. Become antifragile | Tal Ben-Shahar
Original idea of anti-fragility by Nassim Taleb.
There are only two kinds of people:
- who do not experience painful emotions… the psychopaths.
- the dead.
Resilience is when we put pressure on a system and after the pressure is lifted, that system goes back to its original form. Antifragility is when we put pressure on a system and after the pressure is lifted, it actually grows bigger, stronger.
We see antifragile systems all around us and within us. For example, our muscular system, we go to the gym and we lift weights. We’re putting pressure on our muscles. What happens as a result, we actually grow stronger. On the psychological level that’s called PTG, post traumatic growth. So where post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, is about breaking down, post traumatic growth is about growing stronger as a result of pressure of stress.
On the one hand, we know that happiness is a good thing, whether in and of itself, or as a means toward other ends. At the same time, we also know from research by Iris Moss and others, that people who say to themselves, “Happiness is important for me, I want to pursue it,” those individuals actually end up being less happy. In fact, they’re more likely to experience depression. So the paradox is that on the one hand, happiness is clearly a good thing. On the other hand, valuing it as a good thing is problematic. The way to resolve this paradox is that we should pursue happiness indirectly. (The Power Of Now - enlightenment)
SPIRE is an acronym that stands for:
- spiritual
- Finding a sense of meaning and purpose in life, at work and at home. If you wake up in the morning with a purpose, you’re more likely to overcome barriers.
- physical
- Combating stress by adressing lack of recovery.
- intellectual
- There’s research showing that people who are curious, who ask questions, deeply engage with material are not just happier, they also live longer.
- relational
- The number one predictor of happiness is quality time we spend with people we care about and who care about us. And it turns out the number one condition that we can put in place to increase the likelihood of antifragility of growing through hardship is the quality of our relationships.
- emotional
- Embracing painful emotions, cultivating pleasurable ones with gratitude. When we appreciate the good in our life, we have more of it.