From: Why you’re failing people – and how to change that | Adam Grant
- Deliver in real time
- There is no use giving feedback months after something has happened, give feedback as things happen
- Segment praise from criticism
- Putting them together results in the unconfident taking only the criticism and the confident only the praise
- Focus on behavior change
- Feedback should be about the actions and behavior of a person, not the person itself. “Us against the problem”, not “you are the problem” which drags the ego out, makes them defensive and may solidify their behavior even further (Never split the difference - negotiating)
Start your own wording of: I am giving you these comments because I have high expectations and I am confident you can reach them.
Underlying that is the message: I am not attacking or judging you, I am giving you feedback so that we can work better and move forward together.